Past Winners

I always read my wife's horoscope...

To see what kind of day I am going to have.

Jack: "Do you know how long fish should be cooked?"

Jill: "Probably the same as short fish."

A husband was trying to prove to his wife that women talk more than men. He showed her a study which indicated that men use about 10,000 words per day, whereas women use 20,000 words per day.

His wife thought about this for a while.

She then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.

Her husband looked stunned. He said, "What?"

A husband died. A few weeks later the wife died. As she got to heaven she saw her husband. She ran up to him with tears in her eyes.

"Darling, how I've missed you!"

The husband extends his arms stopping her from embracing him and says, "Whoa there woman, the contract was until death!"