Past Winners

How can you simultaneously claim that an Indian flat bread both exists and doesn't exist?

By saying, "There's naan there."

Sister Grace at the convent opened a letter from home and found a $100 bill from her parents. She smiled at the gesture. As she read the letter by the window, she noticed a shabbily-dressed stranger leaning against the lamp post below.

Quickly, she wrote, "Don't despair. Sister Grace" on a piece of paper, wrapped the $100 bill in it, and tossed it out the window. The stranger picked it up and read the note. He tipped his hat to Sister Grace and hurried away.

The next day, Sister Grace was told that a man was asking to see her. She went down and found the stranger waiting. Without a word, he handed her a huge wad of $100 bills.

"What's this?" she asked.

"That's your $8,000, sister," he replied. "'Don't Despair' paid 80-to-1."

"Mom says that drinking a buffalo's milk makes us smarter."

"She's lying. If it did make one smarter, then the buffalo's calves would be scientists."

A wife started doing her make up as soon as she woke up.

Her husband asked the reason.

She replied, "I have locked my phone with facial recognition. And it's not recognizing me without makeup."