Teeth said to Tongue: "If I press down on you just a little, you will get cut."
Tongue replied: "If I misuse one word, all 32 of you will come out."
Q: What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad?
A: A pine-apple.
Why does a scuba diver fall off the boat backwards?
Because if he fell frontwards he'd still be in the boat!
What's the difference between a carpenter and an orthopaedic surgeon?
A carpenter knows more than one antibiotic!