Past Winners

At 2:15 AM a man was pulled over by the police for having a burned out tail light. The officer discovered that a dog was sitting behind the steering wheel the car and the man sitting next to him had obviously been drinking.

The officer said, "What is going on here and why is a dog in the driver’s seat?"

The man replied, "I really don't know officer, I guess he took my keys."

Know a sure way to bug your wife or girlfriend?

When they ask you that loaded question, "How do I look?", just say, "With your eyes."

My elderly mother was rushed to the hospital following a serious tumble. There the staff placed a band around her wrist with large letters warning: Fall Risk.

Unimpressed, Mom said to me, “I’ll have them know I’m a winter, spring, and summer risk too!”

As a Speech therapist, I was working with a preschooler on body part identification and the 'k' sound. To that end, I had him use Play-Doh to make a sculpture of me.

“Is that my neck?” I asked, trying to get him to repeat the word.

“No, that’s your chin,” he said.

He added more Play-Doh. “Is that my neck?” I asked.

“No, that’s your other chin.”