Past Winners

A frustrated husband sits in front of his laptop:

Dear Google, please do not behave like my wife... please allow me to complete my sentence before you start guessing and suggesting.

Thanks.

An Irishman was flustered not being able to find a parking space in a large mall's parking lot. "Lord," he prayed, "I can't stand this. If you open a space up for me, I swear I'll give up drinking me whiskey, and I promise to go to church every Sunday."

Suddenly, the clouds parted and the sun shone on an empty parking spot. Without hesitation, the man said, "Never mind, I found one."

(Me) Now that I’m retired I finally have my very own 'Command Center'!

(Wife) It looks like a lazy boy recliner, a TV remote and a half eaten bag of Cheetos on an end table to me!

(Me) It’s a clandestine operation so don’t tell anyone!

(Wife) Don’t worry I won’t tell a soul! Just to clear things up though, is the arm chair law practice and the sports announcing gig a secret too?

True hospitality is making your guests feel like they ARE at home...

... all the while you really wish they WERE at home!