Past Winners

An elderly lady and an orthopedic surgeon were travelling in an elevator together. The doors started to shut as the lady was trying to get out of the doors. The surgeon kindly put his head in between the doors so the lady could get out.

"Thank you very much," said the lady, "but why did you use your head?"

"I used my head because I need my hands for work," said the surgeon, grinning proudly.

I should have known better than to take my four-year-old son shopping with me. I spent the entire time in the mall chasing after him. Finally, I’d had it.

"Do you want a stranger to take you?!" I scolded.

Thrilled, he yelled back, "That depends, will HE take me to the zoo?"

An insurance agent called our medical office. One of our doctors had filled out a medically necessary leave-of-absence form for a patient, but the agent said the patient had altered it.

The giveaway?

The return-to-work date had been changed to February 30.

A guy is walking down the street with his friend. He says to his friend, "I'm a walking economy."

His friend replies, "How's that?"

"It's like this, my hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and the combination of these factors is putting me into a deep depression."