misc jokes
Favorite this joke Two men are out fishing and they are having great luck. They are catching so fast, they have to go back early.
"This is so great," says the first guy. "We should mark the spot so we can come here again."
"You're right," replies the other guy who then dives over the side and paints a big X on the bottom of the boat.
They head back to shore and just as they're about to dock, the first guy looks at the second and asks, "But what if we don't get the same boat next time?"
Two people walk into a gas station.
The first one says, "These prices are awful. They just keep going higher!"
The second replies, "It doesn't affect me at all. I always put in just $20 worth."
Our favorite restaurant has a waitress whose name-tag reads "Beautiful".
"Is that really your name?" I asked her.
"No," she admitted. "But if people are going to holler at me all day, I can at least be called something I like."
Kenny, a city boy, moved to the country and purchased a car from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the car the following day. The next morning, the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, son, but I have some bad news. The car broke down."
"OK, well, just return my money to me," Kenny said.
"Sorry, can't do that," said the farmer. "I already spent it."
"OK then, just unload the car," said Kenny.
"Whatcha gonna do with it?" asked the farmer.
"I'm going to raffle it off," Kenny replied.
"You can't raffle off a broken-down car!" the farmer exclaimed.
"Of course I can," replied Kenny. "Watch me. I just won't tell anybody it doesn't work."
A few weeks later, the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "So, what happened with the car?"
"I raffled it off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00," explained Kenny.
"Didn't anyone complain?" inquired the farmer.
Kenny proudly replied, "Just the guy who won. So, I gave him his two dollars back."
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