misc jokes

Pierre, a meek Parisian sculptor never created anything larger than a man's fist, so the art world was surprised when he unveiled an entire elephant in marble.

"But Pierre," said one of his many fans, "how could you sculpt such a perfect likeness without a model?"

"There was nothing to it," explained Pierre. "I simply chipped off everything that didn't look like an elephant."

Several definitions you will only find in my dictionary:

Acoustic - what you use when you shoot pool
Alimony - the fee a woman charges when she loses your name
Banjo - don't invite Joseph
Caddy - lad who stands behind a golfer and doesn't see the ball either
Carbuncle - auto collision

Why did you stop going to the gym?

I stopped going because I get enough of a workout exercising bad judgment.