misc jokes

What did the turkey say on Thanksgiving?
Don't "gobble" me up!

A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I welcome you into the family!” said the man. “To show you how much we care for you, I am making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory everyday and learn the operation.”

The son-in-law interrupted. “I hate factories. I can’t stand the noise.”

“I see,” replied the father-in-law. “Well, then you’ll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations.”

“I hate office work,” said the son-in-law. “I can’t stand being stuck behind a desk.”

“Wait a minute,” said the father-in-law. “I just made you half owner of a money-making industry, but you don’t like factories, and won’t work in an office. What am I going to do with you?”

“Easy,” said the son-in-law. “Buy me out.”

At an Italian wedding ceremony, the priest asked the bride, “Do you take Franco Giuseppe-Antonio to be your husband?”
The bride looking very confused said, “father, there is a mistake. I am only marrying Frank.”

A man taking a woman home after their first date asks if he can come inside of a cup of coffee. “Oh, no,” she says, “I never ask a guy in on the first date.”
“Okay,” the man replies, “how about the last date?”