misc jokes

The bank robbers tied and gagged the employees in one room and the Manager in his office. On their way out they noticed the Manager was making desperate noises to catch their attention. Moved by curiosity, one of the burglars loosened the gag and heard the man’s plead: “Please take the books, too I’m $5000 short!”

A couple is reading the paper, the wife says: This article on overpopulation of the world says that somewhere in the world there is a woman having a baby every four seconds! Her husband not to appear uninterested said; I think they ought to find that woman and stop her!

With high-definition TV everything looks bigger and wider. Kind of like going to your 25th high school reunion

A wife concern with her husband’s driving said; “Dear, aren’t you driving a little too fast?
Her husband replied; don’t you believe in a guardian angel? He will take care of us.
His wife said: Yes, I do. But I am afraid we left him miles back!