misc jokes

John who was not very well paid, yet who had several children learned a distressing piece of news from his wife Linda. The next morning he called his insurance agent to ask a weighty question, to which the insurance agent replied, “No, John, Linda’s pregnancy is not covered by your accident policy.”

A fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher asked. “What’s the problem Carol? I hope it’s not homework again.”
“Well, uh, yes, it is,” replied Carol “I was stupid and made my homework paper into a paper airplane.”
“Carol, you’re right, that wasn’t a very bright thing to do,” said the teacher, “but his once I’ll let your just unfold the paper and hand it in.”
“Oh, but that won’t work,” said Carol, looking even sadder. “You see, the plane was hijacked

In a grammar lesson in eighth grade Mrs. O’Neill said, “Paul, give me a sentence with a direct object.”

Paul replied, “Everyone thinks you are the best teacher in the school.”

“Thank you, Paul,” responded Mrs. O’Neill, “but what is the object?”

“To get the best mark possible,” said Paul.

An elementary school teacher, well versed in educational jargon, asked for a small allotment of money for “behavior modification enforcers.”

Her supervisor saw the item and asked, “What in heaven’s name is that?’

“Lollipops,” the teacher explained.