misc jokes

Confusius say,boy who brings ladder to school must be in High School.

Confusius say,man who lives in glass house must dress in basement.

Q.Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A. He was feeling crummy!

A man gets this real fast sports car and hes is flying down the road at about 80 mph. After a couple miles a cop pulls out on to the road and turns on his siren. The man pulls over and waits for the officer to give him a ticket. The officer comes up to his car and says "I have been waiting for you all day".
The man says "Well I got here as fast I could".