misc jokes

A traffic cop pulled over a speeding motorist and asked, "Do you have any ID?"

The motorist replied, "About what?"

A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. "What are those machetes doing in your car?" asks the cop.

"I juggle them in my act."

"Oh, yeah?" says the doubtful cop. "Let's see you do it.”

The juggler gets out and starts tossing and catching the knives. Another man driving by slows down to watch.

"Wow," says the passer-by. "I'm glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're giving now!"

Two explorers, camped in the heart of the African jungle, were discussing their expedition. “I came here,” said one, “because the urge to travel was in my blood. City life bored me, and the smell of exhaust fumes on the highways made me sick. I wanted to see the sunrise over new horizons and hear the flutter of birds that never had been seen by man. I wanted to leave my footprints on sand unmarked before I came. In short, I wanted to see nature in the raw. What about you?” “I came,” the second man replied, “because my son was taking saxophone lessons.”

When the follow called a motel and asked how much they charged for a room, the clerk told him that the rates depended on room size and number of people. "Do you take children?' the man asked.
"No, sir" replied the clerk. "only cash and credit cards."