misc jokes

Jim had been on a game show for one week straight, getting every question right. At the end of the week the host of the show said, "Jim, you've been excellent this week. If you answer this question, you will win $60,000 and a new car!"

"Okay!" answered Jim.

"Now as you know," said the host, "you can answer part A or part B of the question first. Which one would you like to take a shot at?"

"Oh, how about part B,"answered Jim nonchalantly.

The host said, "OK. Here's your question-part B- And in what year did it happen?'"

The oldest joke in the book, but oh well!

Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7 8 9 (Seven Ate Nine, get it?)

There were 3 men who were working on a bridge. One of the worker's name was John, the other one's name was Randall, and the last one's name was Joe. So one day when the 3 men were taking a lunch break, they all opened up their lunch box and saw what their wives had gave them for lunch. When John opened his lunch, he saw that he had peanut butter and jelly, so then he said, "If my wife gives me the same lunch tomorrow, I'm going to jump off this bridge. Then Randall opened his lunch and saw that he had spaghetti and meatballs. So then he also said the same thing as what John said. Then when Joe opened his lunch he saw that he was having a chicken salad. So then he said that he too was going to jump off the bridge if he got the same lunch the next day. So the next day, all 3 men had the same lunch from yesterday and they all jumped off. A week later when the funeral was scheduled, John's wife said, "If my sweetie- pie told me he wanted a new lunch, he should have told me!” then Randalls wife said "Why did he do it? Why??” then Joe's wife said, "Why did he jump off the bridge? He packed his own lunch!"

Son: Father, do you know that I can name the capital of all 50 states?

Father: Son, I'm so proud of you. What's the capital of texas?

Son: PASS!