misc jokes

One kid asks the other
Q:"How old is your grandfather?"
A:"I don't know but we've had him for a long time."

A man traveling at 130 mph on the interstate was stopped by highway police.
"Sorry, officer" said the driver, "was I driving too fast?"
"No, sir. You were flying too low."

Two guys met in the middle of the desert. One was carrying a car door, the other an umbrella. The one with the car door said to the guy with the umbrella, "Why are you carrying that umbrella around, it isn't going to rain in the desert?" To which the guy with the umbrella replies, "Yeah”, but it keeps me out of the sun! By the way, why are you carrying around that car door, you don’t even have a car to go with it” The guy with the car door says, "yeah, well at least if I get too hot from the sun I can just roll down the window!"

A perplexed Antartian female runs into a local police station. "Somebody has stolen my car!!" she proclaims loudly. The officer at the desk replies, "Settle down ma’am. Everything is going to be o.k. Now, did you get a description of the suspect?" "No", the young Antartian replies. "But I did get the license plate number."