misc jokes

This man goes to the bakery and asks the woman for $100.00 of white bread. The sales woman tells him that it's going to get hard. “So he asks for $2,000 worth” .

Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet paper roll?
A: No one knows, it's never been done.

Q. What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg?

A. Limp biscuit.

about 3:30 in the morning, a wife wakes up to find she is alone in the bed and she can hear her husband crying uncontrollably. She gets up and starts to look for him. He's not in the bathroom, living room, or in the kitchen. As she passes the laundry room, she hears his faint sniffels coming from the basement. She turns on the light and goes downstairs to find him. Finally, she finds him huddled in the corner, rolled up into a ball, and crying hysterically. She runs over to him and asks why he is crying. He says, "Do you remember when we got married twenty (20) years ago?" She looks at him and says, "yes". He says, "well, a couple of months before, your dad said that I could marry you or go to jail." She says, "I already know that. I don't see what the problem is." He says, " don't you see!!! I would have gotten out today!"