misc jokes

At a party the hostess served a guest a cup of punch and told him it was spiked.
Next, she served some to a minister. “I would rather commit adultery than allow liquor to pass my lips!” he shouted.
Hearing this, the first man poured his punch back and said, “I didn’t know we had a choice!”

Teacher to a student: "Can you think of a solution to end unemployment?"
"Yes, sir! I'd put all the men on one island and the women on another."
"And what would they be doing then?"
"Building boats!"

Seven-year-old John had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phone his mother to tell her that John was misbehaving.

"Wait a minute," said the mother. "I had John here for two months and I never called you once when he misbehaved."

Q. What's te definition of a bachelor pad?
A. All the house plants are dead, but there's something growing in the refrigerator.