Best Jokes

$5.00 won 2 votes

With today's rapid advance in technology, we thought it important to bring to our readers' attention some new engineering conversions:

2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton

1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong

365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer: 1 lite-year

Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon

Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line. (think about it for a moment)

1000 aches: 1 kilohurtz

Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower

453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake

1 million microphones: 1 megaphone

10 cards: 1 decacards

1000 cubic centimeters of wet socks: 1 literhosen

2 monograms: 1 diagram

8 nickels: 2 paradigms

2000 mockingbirds: 2 kilomockingbird

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "genius" |
$6.00 won 2 votes

I submitted 10 puns to a pun website to see if I would win the top prize.

No pun in 10 did.

2 votes

CATEGORY Puns
posted by "Katyman123" |
2 votes

Fresh out of Yale and having just passed the BAR exam, Bobby was sitting in his first interview with a prestigious law firm CEO.

CEO: "I see that you are fresh out of Yale, have just passed the BAR exam, and have an excellent academic record with A's in every course. But what we are looking for is someone with a few years of real-world experience."

Bobby thought for a moment and replied: " Well that's okay, I actually I went to college for art, I found that resume' online, and I made up the story about taking the BAR exam.

CEO: "So what you're saying is you tell creative lies that stretch the truth though research and story telling?"

Bobby: "Umm.... I guess?"

CEO: "Can you start work on Monday?"

2 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
posted by "Slam9010" |
2 votes

My best friend is coming up from California. He's a great guy, lots of laughs, but he does tell some really cheesy jokes!

Ah, Good Ole Monterey Jack!

2 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
posted by "csatch" |