Best Jokes

Son: Daddy, I got punished in school today.

Dad: Why?

Son: My teacher pointed the scale towards me saying, "At the end of this scale there is an idiot.".

I just asked "Which end?".

Did you realize that Alligators can grow up to 20 feet?

But most grow 4.

A man walks into a bar, sits down next to a beautiful woman and says, " Hi I'm Dave".
She looks at him and says, "I know Dave, we went to high school together".

He says, "I would have remembered you from high school."
She says, "Dave, it's me Richard. I'm a woman now."

Dave looks at her in disbelief, "Wow, well they did a good job! Did it hurt when they gave you those breast?"

"No, they just gave me some pills to make them grow bigger."
"Well did it hurt when they uh, you know, down there?"

"No, its a pretty routine surgery now, just had a little discomfort. I have to tell you the worst pain with the whole thing is when they stuck a vacuum in my ear and sucked out half of my brain."

I recently ask a not so bright applicant to fax me her resume...

She replied that she could not as she only had one copy.