Best Jokes

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE. God is watching.'

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'

Q: What part of a car is the laziest?

A: The Wheels, they are always tire'd.

Two men (a Russian and an American) were talking about their countries' accomplishments.

The Russian says, "We were the first to go into Space."

The American replies, "Well, we were the first to land on the moon."

Sick of their arrogance, another man comes over and says, "Oh yeah! Well, I'm gonna be the first one on the Sun!"

The Russian and American both laugh saying, "You can't go to the Sun. It's too hot. You'll burn up"

The man confidently replies, "I'm not an idiot. I'll just go at night!"

Every time you clean something...

You're just make something else dirty!