An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
A teacher was telling her class about plant names that have the word "dog" in them, such as dog-rose, dogwood, dog violet.
She asked the class if they could name another flower with the preface "dog".
Steven raised his hand and said, "Sure Miss Jones. How about a 'collie' flower?"
After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news, "Honey, we've finally saved enough money to buy what we started saving for in 1979!"
"You mean a brand-new Cadillac?" she asked eagerly.
"No," said the husband, "a 1979 Cadillac!"
The wife was angry. The man then said," Ask me any question and I'll answer honestly."
The wife asked," What were you doing last night?"
The man answered, "Honestly?"
Legend says the man is now single.