Best Jokes

When people run around and around in circles, we say they are crazy...

When planets do it, we say they are orbiting.

At the end of a visit to Amsterdam, a friend borrowed an old suitcase from his hosts to carry home his souvenirs. At the airport, however, a customs officer subjected our friend’s luggage to a thorough search and even sent for a drug-sniffing dog. Sure enough, the dog entered the area, headed straight for the borrowed bag and went into a frenzy. The customs officer now intensified his search, but ultimately he found nothing.

After arriving home, the young man immediately phoned his hosts and told them how puzzled he’d been by the dog’s behavior.

“Perhaps,” the owner of the suitcase said, “it was because that’s the bag our cat usually sleeps in.”

What did one boat say to the other?

“Are you up for a little row-mance?”

Jerry was sitting down for breakfast one morning when he was astonished to see in the paper an announcment of his own death.

He called his friend at once, "Jim, have you seen the announcement of my death in the paper?"

Jim replied, "Yes, and exactly where are you calling from?"