Best Jokes

A guy bet against his friend who was boxing but his friend won.

"You bet against me?!" his friend asked.

"Yeah, but you double crossed me and decided to actually win this time!"

Not that my wife's the jealous type or anything, but one day at work, I had taken this temp who was filling in for my secretary to lunch in gratitude for an outstanding job on a very difficult project.

As luck would have it, there was my wife waiting in the office for my return. The temp, who was truly a ravishing beauty said, "Oh, Mrs. Moore, I'm so happy to meet you. I'm your husband's new secretary."

Within a single heartbeat, my wife quietly intoned, "Oh, really? WERE you?"

A girl was walking on the side walk. She sees a man lying on the street, needing immediate help. The victim says that he is having a heart attack. The girl asks people around the street. And a man approached.

Girl: Help, are you a doctor?

Man: I am a doctor. What’s going on?

Girl: A Heart Attack!

Man: I am doctor in mathematics.

Girl: He is going to die.

Man: Prove it!

Why did the little girl stick her thumb in a paint can each time she went outside to help her mom in the garden?

She just wanted to have a green thumb like her mother.