Gary the Cactus will never find true love.
Female Cactus: "Gary, you need to quit being selfish. We’re cact-us."
Gary the Cactus: "Actually we’re cact-i."
How do Spanish cows say thanks for the food that he eats?
“Moo-chas Grass-ias!”
Little Johnny was celebrating his birthday soon. His father asked him what he would like for his birthday. Without hesitation Johnny said, "A spider." His father was somewhat incredulous, so he asked him again. "I really want a spider," responded Johnny.
Well, his father went to the pet store and asked the salesperson, "Do you sell spiders?"
"We sure do," was the response.
"How much do they cost?"
"$50.00," said the clerk.
Somewhat taken aback, Johnny's father said, "That's too expensive. I'm sure I can find something cheaper on the web."