I threw a boomerang a few years ago...
Now I live in constant fear.
Talk about writing skills...
Lawyers are the only people who can write a 10,000-word document and call it a "brief"!
Sign outside local pub:
Special!
Buy 1 beer at twice the price and get a SECOND BEER FREE!
When I told my parents over the phone that my husband has the flu, my dad said, "Have you tried euthanasia?"
In the background I heard my mom yell, "For the last time, it's echinacea!"