Preparing for a yard sale at our house, my wife and I decided to put out a mirror we'd received as a wedding gift. Because of its garish aqua colored metal frame we just couldn't find a room in our house where it looked good.
Shortly after the sale started, a man looking to decorate his apartment bought it for one dollar. "This is a great deal," he said excitedly. "It still has the plastic on it."
Then he peeled off the aqua colored protective covering to reveal a beautiful gold finished frame.
The biggest and roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference...
Apparently he acquired his size from too much pi.
A fellow had a buzzard for a pet and decided to take him to Hawaii on vacation. He realized it was a long flight and that he couldn't afford the exorbitant fees charged by air lines for extra luggage.
He wasn't prepared for Delta to deny boarding to his pet buzzard, Buford, though. Seems Buford had too much carrion baggage.
The first-time father, beside himself with excitement over the birth of his son, was determined to do everything right.
"So, tell me, nurse," he asked as his new family headed out the hospital door, "what time should we wake the little guy in the morning?"