Baloney \ba-lo’-ne\: Where some hemlines fall.
Banquet \bang’-kwit\: Why the vocalist had no instrumentalists.
Bernadette \burn’-a-det\: The act of torching a mortgage.
Boomerang \boo’-me-rang\: What’s on top of the Ghost Cream Pie.
My paper got ripped earlier...
I'm still torn up about it!
There was this lady who was visiting a church one Sunday. The sermon seemed to go on forever, and many in the congregation were dozing off.
After the service, she walked up to a very sleepy-looking gentleman, extended her hand in greeting, and said, "Hello, I'm Gladys Dunn."
And the gentleman replied, "You're not the only one, ma'am, I'm glad it's done too!"
An aspiring politician was attending an interview. The interviewer asked, "If people in a place are suffering from severe drought and they are thirsty, what would you do?"
Politician: "I will provide them with water."
Interviewer: "What if there is no water at all to offer?"
Politician: "Then I will make a promise that I will provide them water."