A men's Sunday school teacher asked the men how they would spend the next 30 days if they knew the world would end. The first man said, "I would spend it on a mission to Africa."
They all agreed this was a great idea. The second man said, "I would volunteer at the local hospital and help as many as possible."
They all agreed this was a worthy goal as well. The third man said if he only had 30 days to live he would spend every minute with his ex-wife. They were all shocked at his answer as he had endured a most miserable marriage to a shrew.
"Why would you want to spend your last 30 days with a woman you hated?" they asked.
'Well, I really am not looking forward to the end of the world and I would want to delay it as long as possible. And believe me, living with my ex-wife would make 30 days seem like an eternity!"
“If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, then why are they made of meat?”
Woman: "Do you have a greeting card which reads 'You are my first and last love'?"
Store keeper: "Yes ma'am, we do."
Woman: "Perfect! Give me 10 such cards!"
Dentist: "How did you lose your three teeth?"
Patient: "My wife prepared the pancakes and they were very hard to eat."
Dentist: "Then you could have refused to eat them."
Patient: "I did refused to eat them. Hence, I lost my three teeth."