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Panhandler: "Please sir, can you give me $10?"
Man: "Sorry, don't have any change. All I have is a $50 bill."
Panhandler: "No problem sir, if you donate $50 today, you can take advantage of the 10% cash back offer!"
Under capitalism, man exploits man...
Under communism, it is just the opposite.
A thief got married to a thief. They decided to give up their old ways and begin a family.
Fifteen months after getting married, they were expecting a son. At the hospital their son was born and his hand was closed.
They went for a closer look. They opened up his hand and were surprised by what they found.
The wristwatch of the doctor who delivered him.
Policeman: "Why are you driving without a light?"
Scooterist: "There is light everywhere."
Policeman: "Then shall I remove the air from your tires?"
Scooterist: "Why would you do that?"
Policeman: "Because there is air everywhere..."