St. Peter was standing at the Pearly Gates one day when a man suddenly appeared before him. The man said "Let me in" but before St. Peter could say anything the man disappeared.
A few minutes later the man appeared again and said, "Let me in!" Again, before St. Peter could say anything, the man disappeared.
A few minutes later the man appeared again and said frantically, "Let me in quick!"
St. Peter said, "Are you playing games with me?"
The man said, "No! They're trying to resuscitate me!"
Sign on the door of a church nursery quotes Paul in 1 Corinthians 15:51:
"Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed."
Sometimes you're the bug...
More often than not, you're the windshield.
Don't worry about the world ending today...
It's already tomorrow in Australia.