John: Do you know how big the world's biggest nose was?
David: Eleven inches
John: That's not very long.
David: If it was any longer, it would be a foot.
It was a long season for my son's baseball team with a 0-11 record. All of the players were new and prone to errors, strikeouts and poor pitching.
One Friday afternoon my son came crashing through the door and announced his team had played the best game of the year. "What did you win by?" I asked.
He replied, "Oh, we were beat 32 to 2, but it's the first game where no one made an error!"
Success comes in baby steps.
My husband, a computer-systems trouble-shooter, rode with me in my new car one afternoon. He had been working on a customer’s computer all morning and was still tense from the session.
When I stopped for a traffic light, I made sure to leave a safe distance from the stop line to keep oncoming drivers from hitting the car.
I couldn’t help but laugh when my husband impatiently waved at me to move the car forward while saying, "Scroll up, honey."
Question on second-grade math quiz: "Tony drank 1/6 of a glass of juice. Emily drank 1/4 of a glass of juice. Emily drank more. Explain."
My grandson’s answer: "She was more thirsty."