John: "When I was taking psychology classes in college, they taught us that the first sign that someone is going insane is that they grow hair on their knuckles."
Fred: (While looking at his knuckles) "Really? I didn't know that."
John: "Yes. And do you know what the second sign is?"
Fred: "No. What?"
John: "Looking for it."
Why do bagpipe players always walk while they play?
Is it to get away from the noise?
A man and his ten-year-old son were on a fishing trip miles from home. At the boy's insistence, they decided to attend the Sunday worship service at a small rural church. The father forgot to bring any cash, so he reached in his pocket and gave his son three quarters to drop in the offering plate as it was passed.
As they walked back to their car after the service, the father complained. "The service was too long," he lamented. "The sermon was slow and boring, and the singing was off key."
Finally the boy said, "Daddy, I thought it was pretty good for 75 cents."
As men grow older their hair begins to grow deeper into their scalp.
If it touches grey matter, it turns grey.
If it hits nothing, it falls out.