Watching her mother as she tried on her new fur coat, young Becky said unhappily, “Mom, do you realize some poor, dumb beast suffered so you could have that?”
The women shot her an angry look. “Becky, how dare you talk about your father like that!”
Teacher: "What is an OS? And give me an example."
Student: "An OS is a word which can be used instead of saying 'Oh Yes'. For example, do you like ice cream? You can reply, ‘Oh, yes' or 'OS.'
Teacher: "You may sit down now."
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says, "John, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age, how do you feel?"
John replies, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really! Like a newborn baby, you say?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I even drool on myself."