John: How's your new alarm clock working out?
Fred: It didn't work out at all. It gave me so much trouble I returned it to the store.
John: Really! What was wrong with it?
Fred: It kept waking me up every morning.
What's a budget?
A 'Budget' is basically a method for going broke methodically.
"Jill," a teacher reprimanded the teenager in the hall, "do you mind telling me whose class you're cutting this time?"
"Like," the young teen replied, "uh, see, okay, like it's like, I really don't like, think like, that's really important, y'know, like because I'm, y'know, like I don't get anything out of it."
"It's Mrs. Dull's English class, isn't it?" replied the smiling teacher.
Blessed are the censors!
They shall inhibit the earth.