I have this condition where I eat if I can't sleep...
It's called Insom-nom-nom-nom-nia
After my divorce at age 40, my boss, a 70 year old business owner, approached me to find out how things were going with me and my ex.
I told him it was unexpected and now that I'm going through this, I'm finding out that my brother is also getting divorced, my neighbors are getting divorced, another coworker is also getting divorced.
I said, "I don't know what's going on!"
He told me with a straight face, "You guys are all doing okay getting divorced. The people I know are dying."
My boyfriend Hans and I met online. After dating a long time, I introduced him to my uncle, who was fascinated by the fact that we met over the Internet.
He asked Hans what kind of line he had used to pick me up.
Ever the geek, Hans naively replied, “I just used a modem.”