I'm beginning to think that package instructions are only meant to be read by scientist.
The print is so small you need an electron microscope to read it and who has one of those...
Scientist of course!
A guy goes to the doctor and after a thorough examination the doc says, "I'm going to put you in an isolation room."
The guy replies, "Will that make me better?"
"No. I am also going to put you on a diet of dry wafer biscuits."
"Will that make me better?"
"No," the doctor replied, "but it's the only food that'll fit under the door."
Business professor: "Who can give me an example of a system where you are billed before you actually receive your goods?"
Student: "Tuition!"
Splenda Daddy - a person who tries to be a Sugar Daddy, but just doesn't have enough funds for it.