A woman was taking her time browsing through everything at a friend's yard sale. "My husband is going to be very angry I stopped at a yard sale," she said.
"I'm sure he'll understand when you tell him about all the bargains you found," her friend replied.
"Normally, yes," she said. "But he just broke his leg, and he's waiting for me to take him to the hospital to have it set."
A man was very sick. Doctors feared the worst. He is at home one day, resting in his bed. He looks up and says, "Is my wife here?"
His wife replies, "Yes, dear, I'm here, next to you."
The man goes, "Are my children here?"
"Yes, Daddy, we are all here," say the children.
"Are my other relatives also here?"
And they say, "Yes, we are all here..."
The man sits up and says, "Then why in the world is the light on in the kitchen?"
Apathy Error: Don't even bother striking any key.
Not long ago, an elderly, slim and trim lady was admitted to the hospital. After she finished giving a nurse her information, she asked the nurse if she could help her to the bathroom.
Above the commode, she noticed a note. It read, 'Toilet weight 300 pounds'.
She turned to the nurse and asked, "Why would I want to lift a toilet?"