An 80-year-old gentleman was being interviewed on his 60 years of marriage.
"Is there one big difference in your marriage today compared to when you were first married?" asked the interviewer.
"Well," said the man after pondering for moment, "it now takes me all night to do what I used to do all night."
In court, the judge asked the accused, "Did you take Mr. Fred's wallet?"
The accused replied, "Yes, yes I did. I didn't want him to shoot himself."
Confused by the reply, the judge asks, "Why do you think he'd shoot himself with his wallet?"
"Because it was loaded, your honor."
Did you hear Bill Gates is getting a divorce?
Found out his wife doesn't do windows.
I've noticed the strangest thing about men who hang out in bars a lot.
It seems they have only one of two reasons to be there.
They have no wife to go home to... or they do!