One morning a call came in to the school office.
"Hello, please mark William absent today. He's sick," said the caller.
"Okay," said the receptionist. "May I ask who is speaking?"
"My uncle," said William.
Creditors have much better memories than debtors.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can ignore entirely.
Teacher: "Can anyone tell me where the toothbrush was invented?"
Little Johnny: "In Kentucky. If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush."