Latest Jokes

Jack had been a compulsive worrier for years, to the point it was ruining his life. He saw a psychologist who recommended a specialist who could help him. His friend, Bob, noticed a dramatic change and asked, "What happened? Nothing seems to worry you anymore."

"I hired a professional worrier and I haven't had a worry since," replied Jack.

"That must be expensive," Bob replied.

"He charges $5,000 a month," Jack told him.

"$5,000!!! How in the world can you afford to pay him?" exclaimed Bob.

"I don't know. That's his problem."

Working as a secretary in an international airport, my sister had an office adjacent to the room where security temporarily holds suspects. One day, security officers were questioning a man when they were suddenly called away on another emergency. To the horror of my sister and her colleagues, the man was left alone in the unlocked room.

After a few minutes, the door opened and he began to walk out. Summoning up her courage, one of the secretaries barked, "Get back in there and don't you come out until you're told!"

The man scuttled back inside and slammed the door. When the security people returned, the women reported what had happened. Without a word, an officer walked into the room and released the very frightened telephone repairman.

Tired of hearing her teenager complain about everything, the frustrated mother finally reached her boiling point.

“Honey, let me give you some free life advice... Life IS as bad as you think, and yes, they ARE out to get you!”