When the graveside service for his wife had just finished, there was a tremendous burst of thunder accompanied by a distant lightning bolt and more rumbling thunder.
The husband, a down-trodden little old man, looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well, she's there..."
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, “Just doing what you said, Doc... 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'’’
The doctor replied, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You’ve got a heart murmur, be careful.'''
Peruvian owls are always hunting in pairs...
It's because they're Inca hoots!
Jordan: "By the way, did you know that I once sang for the Queen of Sheba?"
Bob: "No kidding, really?"
Jordan: "Well... That's what she told me, anyway. She said, 'If you're a singer, then I'm the Queen of Sheba.'"