Frosty the snowman was spotted looking through the carrot bin at the local supermarket...
He was picking his nose.
A heavily bandaged man was sitting up in bed at the hospital when his friend came to visit. "What happened to you?" the friend asked.
"Well, we went to the amusement park and decided to ride the roller coaster. As we came to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a sign by the side of the track. I tried to read it, but it was very small and I couldn't make it out. I was so curious that I went around again, but we went by so quickly that I still couldn't see what the sign said. By now I was determined, so I went around a third time. As we reached the top I stood up in the car to get a better view."
"And did you manage to see what the sign said this time?" asked his friend.
"Yes, it said remain seated at all times."
- No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the delay to make the flight.
- If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate in the terminal.
- If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed.
- Flights never leave from Gate #1 at any terminal in the world.
- If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence just as soon as you touch pen to paper.
- Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to get up to go to the washroom.
- The crying baby on board your flight is always seated next to you.
- The best looking woman on your flight is never seated next to you.
- The less carry-on luggage space available on an aircraft, the more carry-on luggage passengers will bring aboard
Two horse enthusiasts were having a conversation.
"I found a veterinarian that specializes in racehorses. Their legs and joints can get very tender and fragile as they get old. My 'ol Betsy is starting to have problems trotting."
"What's so great about this place?"
"They're professional, experienced, and they have extremely fast service."
"So what's this place called?"
"Po-Knee Express!"