A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service.
After the benediction, he had planned to call the couple down for a brief ceremony in front of the congregation.
For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of those who were to be married.
"Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?" he requested.
Immediately, nine single ladies, three widows, four widowers, and six single men stepped to the front.
"Danny," began Mrs. Waters, "what's usually used as a conductor of electricity?"
"Why- er..."
"Correct, wire. Now tell me, what is the unit of electrical power?"
"The what???"
That's absolutely right. The watt."
A father and his six-year-old son were watching a football game on TV.
After a particular bad play the father exploded, “Just look at that stupid halfback! He’s fumbled three times and every time the other team has recovered the football. Why do they let an idiot like that play in the game?”
The little boy thought for a moment and offered an explanation. “Daddy,” he said, “maybe it’s his ball.”
Applicant: Shows up 45 minutes late for interview to be a cable installer.
Interviewer: “You’re hired.”