Ernie: The national sport in Spain is bull fighting and in England it’s cricket.
Bernie: I’d rather play in England.
Ernie: Why do you say that?
Bernie: It’s easier to fight crickets.
I used to work in an art supply store. We sold artists' canvas by the yard, and you could get it in either of two widths: 36 inches or 48 inches.
Customer: "Can you please cut some canvas for me?"
Me: "Certainly, what width?"
Customer (confused and slightly annoyed): "Scissors?"
My GPS just told me to turn around...
Now I can’t see where I’m driving.
A century ago, two brothers insisted that it was possible to fly ...
... and as you can see, they were Wright.