Did you hear about the karate expert who joined the army?
The first time he saluted he nearly killed himself.
The police arrested my daughter claiming she had burnt our house down...
But it was arson.
Why do astronauts use Linux?
Because you can't open windows in space.
A man found a magic lamp with a genie who offered him three wishes.
"For my first wish," he said, "I'd like to be rich."
"Okay, Rich," the genie replied, "what's your second wish?"