While going through his deceased father’s things, a man finds a 25-year-old claim check for a shoe repair.
Curious, he goes to the store and hands the owner the ticket.
The owner goes to the back and then reappears. “Good news,” he begins, “they’ll be ready next Friday.”
What do you see when the smog lifts in Los Angeles?
U.C.L.A...
A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Irish sausage?"
The clerk asks, "Are you, Irish?"
The guy, clearly offended says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Or if I asked for Polish sausage would you ask if I was Polish?"
The clerk says, "No I probably wouldn't."
The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Irish sausage why did you ask me if I'm Irish?"
The clerk replied, "Because you're in Halfords Clothing Store."
Mrs. Smith: My husband's face fell a mile when he first saw the Grand Canyon.
Mrs. Jones: Was he that disappointed?
Mrs. Smith: No, he fell into the canyon.