My daughter told me she saw a deer on the way to school.
Me: “How do you know it was going to school?”
Simon: How were the exam questions?
Peter: Easy.
Simon: Then why do you look so unhappy?
Peter: The questions didn’t give me any trouble—just the answers.
Father: How did you do in your exams today, Little Johnny?
Little Johnny: I did what George Washington did.
Father: What was that?
Little Johnny: I went down in history.
A driver visiting a big city for the first time stopped at a red light. But when the light turned green, he stayed where he was.
After the light changed several more times and he still didn't move, a traffic cop ran over and inquired politely, "What's wrong? Don't we have any colors you like?"