Past Winners

I've often been asked, "What do you do now that you're retired?"

"Well, I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background, and one of the things I enjoy most is turning beer, wine, Scotch, and margaritas into urine."

A man was telling his friend that on one of his previous trip to New York City he parked the car to go get some coffee. When he returned someone had stolen all the hubcaps off the car.

So before he went to get a cup of coffee on his next trip to NYC, he put a sign on the windshield saying the hubcaps are registered, and therefore, cannot be sold.

His friend asks, “So, what happened when you came back, were the hubcaps there?”

The man says, “Yeah, all the hubcaps were there, but the car was gone.”

I hate hotel bath towels.

They’re so thick I can’t close my suitcase.

An older couple went to dinner at a trendy restaurant that had no printed menus--just a scannable QR code to see the menu on your phone.

After much grumbling about new-fangled things, they ordered a light dinner and afterward the waiter delivered the check.

When the waiter came back for payment, the husband displayed his phone to the waiter showing an image of a $100 bill.

"Here. You can keep the change."