Past Winners

"I received a half dozen really cool ties for my birthday. I guess I'm going to tie one on."

His wife shook her head and said, "Just don't wake me up when you get home!"

I went out for a run this morning, but I came back after a couple of minutes because I forgot something.

I forgot that I can't run for more than a couple of minutes.

Why did the fish blush?

Because it saw the ocean's bottom.

Fun fact: Australia's biggest export is boomerangs.

It's also their biggest import.