Past Winners

I changed my reference to the bathroom from John to Jim...

Sounds much more impressive saying I went to the "Jim" this morning.

It was so hot when we got married outdoors in August, we decided to turn on all the sprinklers to cool everyone off.

Everyone enjoyed our wetting ceremony!

Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people.

Doctor: Tell me about your problem.

Patient: I JUST DID, DIDN'T I, YOU STUPID BRAINLESS DEAF FOOL!!! MAYBE IF YOU LISTENED, YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO HELP SOME!

Why did the turtle cross the road?

To slow down traffic.